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"Stay Afloat" A Pyrrha x Nora fic

Discussion in 'RWBY Fandom' started by White Raven, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. White Raven

    White Raven Well-Known Member

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    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11189070/1/Stay-Afloat

    Summary: When Nora and Pyrrha visit the swimming pool for a fun and relaxing afternoon together, Nora unwittingly discovers a dark and traumatizing secret from her friend's past.
    Genres: Angst, trauma, comfort, friendship.

    Enjoy!

    Thank you @KineticKaiser and @Oneiros for beta reading it for me.

    Any questions and comments are welcome. Would prefer if you leave reviews on the fanfiction.net link, to keep them at one place instead of being spread. You don't need an account to leave a review. But, you're welcome to leave any review here as well.
     
  2. AceofAces

    AceofAces Impyrrial Admin at Law, Esq.
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    Impressive. Most impressive. I never would have imagined Pyrrha being afraid of anything, but this makes some sense to me, especially if you factor in the story of how Achilles was dipped by his ankle into the River Styx to gain his immortality. The parallels are very strong, and that's what makes for good fan fiction; building upon what we already know about a character (or more specifically, a character's source), and expanding further upon it. Very nicely done, and I look forward to more.
     
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  3. White Raven

    White Raven Well-Known Member

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    That's exactly what gave me the idea for the setting. Pyrrha being scared of drowning is thus sort of ironic, given what character she is based on. She is known to be invincible, so I wanted to show that she is not as invincible as she may seem. She feels no fear when up against Grimm or human opponents, but water terrifies her.
     
  4. AceofAces

    AceofAces Impyrrial Admin at Law, Esq.
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    Not only that, but her going into the water and surviving almost made her unable to die since she was revived. By going into the water, she sort of gained her invincibility in the face of Grimm and other fighters (since she was able to go on and beat her opponent in the tournament as a result of training on the ice), but the experience still left a traumatic scar.
     
  5. MechaG11

    MechaG11 Well-Known Member

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    Have to say I really liked this.

    Nora was well portrayed and Pyrrha's fear really clicked with me (Im not too fond of deep water or being under it without goggles).. This fic really emphasized how scary drowning really is and made me feel that.

    Note:
    There is a sentence you might want to fix after Pyrrha re-tells the experience where she drowns.
    "So you never talked to anyone it?"
     
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  6. White Raven

    White Raven Well-Known Member

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  7. Oneiros

    Oneiros Happy-Go-Lucky Mod of Justice & Love
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  8. MechaG11

    MechaG11 Well-Known Member

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    Good work once again.

    The only part I had trouble with was the confrontation. In the notes you said it was tricky to write, and it kind of shows here. The dialogue feels slightly forced, but at the same time I can see people talking like that in a similar situation. It was tricky but you pulled through in the end.
     
  9. AceofAces

    AceofAces Impyrrial Admin at Law, Esq.
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    Nicely done. I like the direction this is going in, not only to help Pyrrha with her problem, but also planting the seeds for a little romance. ;)

    There was one thing that stuck in my mind: The phrase "the daily night" at the start of the last section. I don't know if you intentionally did that, but that was masterfully ironic if you really think about it. :D
     
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  10. AceofAces

    AceofAces Impyrrial Admin at Law, Esq.
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    I was trying to think of what ship name Pyrrha x Nora would be, but then I remembered we had this discussion previously on the RWBY Shipping Thread and decided on "ElectroMagnet." :D
     

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